lasercave | fine tangible and intangible media

10/2
After going to bed at 7, as we have gotten used to after so many long days followed by delicious meals, I woke up early to contemplate feelings of home, feelings I forgot to feel to feel for the first chunk of this mountain walk. Who have I let down and in what ways? How and by whom am I being played, and do I like it? We breifly fell apart as a group yesterday, before our arrival in Manang. I call our small brotherly feud possibly the result of acute mountain sickness symptoms, irratibilty. Jonah seems to think its something deeper than a quibble, a “darkness” in our relationship that has always been there, and will always be there untill we feel the problem fully and consiously nip it. This disagreement, or different ways of seeing the world has been a common theme of our “deeper” discussions. I tend to blame discomfort or uneasiness on an outside force-hunger,thirst, lack of exercise. It’s a reductionist approach sometimes, and it takes off some personal responsibilty for our behaviour.
Today we had a wonderful day! . We climbed some rock spires with prayer flags hundreds of feet up that we can see across the lake from our hotel window, went up and up, pooped outside and wiped with rocks, had an epic walking stick wizard battle on a high plateau, up and up, and came to a beautiful autumn forest below the snow line of the mountain Gangapurna, where we caught leaves, feeling love for our home and friends, friends spread across the country experiencing a common fall. We came down the mountain, and to earn our lunch decided to pay a little visit to the lake made by Gangapurna glacial ice melt. We dipped, slipping on the brown clay that lined the floor of the lake, and baptised,decorating our faces and bodies with war mud for a truly gleeful photograph in which we all laughed hearty laughs for smiles and savored eachothers body warmth. Jonah said “my way” of not blaming yourself for much spiritually comes up in most religious traditions-Jesus died for our sins. so we can give it all up in love. Milareipa became a great Buddhist monk, even after murdering his uncle’s entire family only to run away and achieve enlightenment by meditating for years in a cave in this very town! This doesn’t warrant irresponsibilty, it helps eliminate self doubt and guilt. And who needs it? Still, its a fine line to tread.

October the 13th, or present moment time
I have now spent two days in the village school where I will be teaching, outside of the city of Butwal. We arrived at night, during a power outage, to be led around the school by flashlight, giving the enourmous brick building a good “haunted” feeling. Jonah and I share a room built onto the roof of the school, where we can see miles and miles over the flat lowland at bold orangey sunsets and rises. The climate of the area is extremely interesting, already affecting the way our minds work (slowly) and our bodies function (tiredly). But everything is slow here. Life is very relaxed here, and no one seems to be in much of a rush to do anything at all. We are in the Terai, the hottest and rainiest of the 3 climate zones in Nepal. It is also the region in which the most people come down with malaria , and we ae without medication,which is at Tulsi’s house in Kathmandhu. The bugs flock to our room at night, the only lit place for mil;es across the flat hot expanse. Millions-beetles, roaches, dragon flies,aphids, crawl and fly into our room through the unfinished windows and door frame. We crawl into our sleeping bags at night to escape, with their 20 degree F rating, making us sweaty dehydrated messes come morningtime.
I was surprised to find myself giving basketball instruction to 50 Nepali children my first day here. The kids our cooperative and without the ‘tude, thank god, cause I could get eaten alive doing this for Americans. They are all eager to be told what to do, as they have a basketball court, but no one knows how to play. I led them through all the gym class dribbling, passing, and shotting drills. The most successful activity was steal the bacon style, two people, who can score first. It’s hard to explain stuff, cuase no one understand’s my language very well. But Jonah and I exaggerate our demonstrations and make fools of ourselves, and it all works out.
I love this place, and feel challenged by and appreciative of my situation here. The library is full of awesome books supplement my experience of Middle Earth on tape via landscape Nepal. Children are patient and nice and interested here, and they are making me feel the same way.