estonias flag was created by a group of college students who thought it would be a good idea. the flag was outlawed by das soviets and many hid them under floorboards and dismantled them, stashing das pieces away for later reassemblage. for to be found having, meant a trip to the gulag. look it up.
the originators journeyed with the flag as a statement and many saw that flag.
the flag is blue, black, and white stripes vertically.
very attractive flag. i think the first actual attractive flag i have ever seen.
also, music, art, all that, yea, lifestyles, were outlawed. except for the prescribed and regurgitated. but there were rebel styles of all. very neat place.
my friend owns a club in the second biggest city -tartu- which is actually a small small place. the club has a sauna and that sauna gets hot. then, there is a tub with cold water and you get in. that is real. oh yea, thats real. in many places the snow makes a good alternative. some thrash themselves with branches -including juniper which is said to have special toxin-busting powers within. havent done that, but i want to. finland does a good deal of thrashing from what i hear. i asked a fin once too. she wouldnt lie.
but. we are going to explore the countryside and i think that means going to a sky observatory, the mountians and forests, and some neat places that i cannot imagine yet. and to tallinn, which i am sure is neat.
and negative 10 degrees celsius is not that cold. sure, its cold. but not that cold.
wind. that is the thing. that is cold.
i think i will stay here until saturday the 4th. is that right? is saturday the fourth? well, if its not, it doesnt matter much does it?
when i leave here, i will leave to st. petersburg. that is in russia.
russia is the biggest country in the world.
and its cold there. can get to negative 40 degrees celsius.
and you dont know what celsius means do you?
its not the only conversion i have to make. inches – centemetres. feet – metres. miles – kilometres. am and pm – 24 hour clock. not to mention currency changes. but thats different. our measurements are nearly alone in the world. we are the exception. generally.
so st. petersburg. 5 days or something. whatever.
and then moscow. 5 days or so again. something.
then i will embark the country by train.
a combo of time lacking and money manage will probably prompt me to get off the train only once or twice. i am thinking of doing this in krasnoyarsk -north of tuva- and irkutsk -on lake baikal, which is the cleanest lake in the world. and the clearest. and lots of other ests. you can drink it. and tuva.
since russia is so big, it comprises many groups of people and their places. to be lumped is a thing. many are shouting for independence because, indeed, they are unique and special places. i want to learn about these places. but the world does not listen. it took the world a long time to listen to estonia too. quite.
another choice i am faced with is where to exit russia and where to receive china. i have 3. i could bust mongolia. but mongolia might bust me with its cold cold. not sure the worth is worth it. harbin would be nice. tis a big city and i dont want that much especially considering twill be going through beijing…. but there is an ice lantern festival there that i can catch. mad artsy sculptures are turned and lights are snuck in. fantasy land i have heard. so that might be neat. i could also go alllllllll the way across russia to vladivostok on the pacific coast -managing the entirety of the trans siberian railroad. then hop ova to harbin to beijing.
then china…. ha. a topic for another time.
last night i dreampt a lot.
i dreampt i fell in love. and the girl i fell in love with went to this place where she could jump and flip and acrobat jaw droppingly. off the walls and combos. real impressive. i liked her for that. and when i stuck my arm into the place, it was strong. cold and hot. intense. i liked it.
and i had a dream that surprised me. think about it. honest surprise from a situation i created. make sense? i went to high school and someone told me that i could find old friends there. and i thought it was impossible. totally. but i did. my own mind tricked me. is that right? is that okay? weird. i found justin bingly there. i wonder where he is today.
i had a dream that my two friends jade and tim were going to visit this old mastermind and i was going to, but for a reason i was going to come later. but i changed my mind and i followed just behind them. they wanted me to come later. why i do not know. i think perhaps they wanted the specialness to themselves. and when i got there -just after them- they were upset. i thought this was dumb. and that old genius of a man…. he liked me. i needed to go and he took me to the side. jade and time were a bit sad about that. we talked for a bit and he thought i was special and he said he wanted to see me again. i thought that was great. he was like a god.
and this morning i sat in thought for a while….
i have been out of high school for five years now. i have kind of forgotten about that place and life and world. and in five years, i think i have done right.
i think i have.
actually.
pretty happy about that.
i wonder how many of us feel that way.
actually.
there was this other dream i had….
a lot happened and i cannot remember it all proper. but i was to die. i was creating and making a lifes work. a creation to justify being alive. to make my time here worthwile. actually. success. do you understand what i am saying?
because you will die too. that will happen.
so these layers were coming off of me as i created and as i grew. but i could not do it in time…. i slipped…. and kept on slipping…. right into my coffin…. waiting for me…. the whole time…. and everyone was watching me…. the faces above…. as i died…. the coffin. i was inside. and the lid was closing. and i was saying goodbye. goodbye to all this. to everything i know.
its not just some kid rambling. its not juvenile. its not a joke.
its the realest thing in the world.
its the only thing i know that is real.
i am going to die.
its the most powerful thing in the world.
and it proves the world to be as amazing as it really is.
i watched borat today. pretty funny.
pretty clever.
there are some weird people alive.
strange. strange how people are.
but borat. hes funny.
i have a romanian friend and he can say some borat things better than borat can.
i love that. he laughs a lot about it.
special dude. yea you.
how are you?
did you get your present yet? sorry i did not have enough time to personalize that action with a handwritten note…. but the bonus gift says way more, no?
i will put up some more pictures soon.
i spent a couple hours typing out the latest version to my story. i was editing and manipulating the creature as i typed, making the handwritten vveerrssioonn (something like that) obsolete.
and then, a funny thing happened, i did not send it right and i lost it.
that was that.
a few times days have been hard.
but always good.
you know.
i wonder how phil elverum lives.
what is his life like? what does he do?
when the small thoughts come -the ones that are instantly disregarded because they are small and many- does he find pleasure in them? i do.
does he care what he will become? or does it not matter?
i like his music. you should listen to some….
look up mount eerie and the microphones.
some of my favorite.
i dont want to be on the computer anymore.